Kadaj curled up beside Yazoo and shivered. He hated having to sleep, although he supposed what the three of them did wasn’t true slumber. Their bodies would feel the stress and strain of keeping a solid form, requiring them to rest, while their thoughts drifted, tethered to their bodies by a fine thread. He worried that he might never wake up, that the cursed Lifestream would come for them all and cut away the threads anchoring them to their physical manifestations. Then it would take him far, far away from Mother and his brothers. He didn’t want that. Ever.
“Kadaj, be still,” Yazoo softly muttered. “If you’re going to be so restless, you can return to your own bed.”
“Na, Yazoo, aren’t you afraid to sleep?” Kadaj asked in whisper.
“No, I’m not afraid. Sleep, Kadaj. I won’t let anything harm you,” Yazoo replied. Kadaj felt Yazoo roll over, first onto his back and then again so they were facing each other in the dark. When Yazoo spoke again, his soft breath caressed Kadaj’s face. “I promise,” he assured.
A part of him knew there was no power in Yazoo’s promise, but it calmed him nonetheless. Kadaj pressed himself against the other man, needing to feel the tangible strength of his body and the heat it produced.
“Are you cold again?” Yazoo asked with a hint of amusement in his tone. “Shall I warm you up?”
He nodded his head and made a small, throaty sound of affirmation. Yazoo never made him say please; he was glad of that.
Kadaj knew Yazoo had never meant to start anything more complicated or puzzling between them, that he’d only meant to warm Kadaj’s chilled skin with his touch. But Yazoo’s hands caused other reactions. His caresses made Kadaj’s flesh hard and aching. For the first time, each felt the pull of a longing that had little do with the Reunion.
Now the feel of Yazoo’s hands stroking his skin was something he nearly craved, yet couldn’t quite understand why. He suspected it had something to do with the needs of his physical body, yet had nothing to do with eating or sleeping. This was entirely different from either of those necessary but annoying functions. For most of the day, the craving would elude him, but at night when his fears would take root and his desire to escape slumber would surface, the craving would return full force. It was the craving that made him so cold, he was certain. The craving that made him seek out Yazoo’s bed nearly every night and wait for his brother to lift the blankets in welcome.
Tonight had been no different and as Yazoo began to slowly touch his skin, rubbing it beneath his hands until it tingled, Kadaj’s fears began to fade away and wanting took their place, razor sharp and steel strong. He hid his face against Yazoo’s shoulder and trembled with a need he couldn’t verbalize. As always, Yazoo understood and his hands began to drift lower, trailing along the curve of his hip and the line of his belly until warm fingers teased along his erection. He felt and heard Yazoo’s quiet chuckle. When he lifted up his head and moaned, Yazoo’s mouth was there to catch it and drink it down.
Yazoo’s kisses were soft and slow as his tongue thrust leisurely into Kadaj’s mouth, distracting him anew. Thoughts of slumber skittered to the shadowed corners of his mind, replaced by the brightness of desire. It overwhelmed him and made him want to burst through the fragile shell that contained him.
Those wonderful fingers encircled his cock at last, causing further delight along the sensitive flesh. Yazoo’s knowing hand then began to stroke in earnest, bringing Kadaj quickly to the brink. He groaned his complaint, not wanting to tip over the edge too soon. Deep within he could sense there was more to this, so much more, but yet he couldn’t think of what it was. Much like a word stuck on the tip of the tongue. He wondered if Yazoo knew, wondered if Yazoo would show him.
Warm lips once again covered his own as he was rolled over onto his back, Yazoo settling comfortably between his parted thighs. Kadaj welcomed the solidity of Yazoo’s weight, wrapped his arms around Yazoo’s neck and his legs around Yazoo’s hips. He could feel the hard, slick press of his companion’s own erection against his. Within moments, Yazoo began a gentle rhythm that Kadaj’s body and mind answered.
The pleasure quickly spiraled to new heights and their movements grew more frantic. He breathed the finality of his bliss into Yazoo’s waiting mouth, heard the answering moan as Yazoo enjoyed his own climax. Kadaj floated somewhere between the here and now, outside the boundaries of slumber – the perfect place. He was vaguely aware of Yazoo wiping away the physical traces of their shared release before he tucked Kadaj’s head beneath his chin and settled the blankets around them both.
And when, on the following day, Cloud cradled Kadaj in his arms as the comforting voice he thought his Mother’s called him home, Kadaj discovered that perfect place one last time. Now, he would forever be beyond the confines of the world that disappointed him so, beyond the reach of his other self who would steal Mother’s attention away, beyond the need to sleep and eat and breathe. When his consciousness joined the Lifestream, he felt the sense of belonging he had always longed for and had only ever found within the arms of Yazoo. Perhaps someday, they would be together again…